Survivalist's Minced Gerbil Salad

1Place the gerbils on a flat, hard surface. Using the hammer, deliver a swift, forceful blow to the base of the skull of each gerbil to ensure immediate, humane dispatching.

2Using your sharp stone shard, carefully remove the fur and skin by making a shallow incision along the belly and peeling back towards the limbs; discard the skin and fur entirely.

3Eviscerate the carcasses by carefully opening the abdominal cavity and removing all internal organs, ensuring you do not puncture the gall bladder or intestines to avoid tainting the meat; discard all viscera.

4Rinse the remaining carcasses thoroughly if you have any water source; if not, use the sharp stone to scrape away any surface impurities or loose hair.

5Remove the meat from the bone by scraping the flesh from the ribcage and limbs using the sharp stone edge; keep the meat as clean (1) as possible.

6Place the gathered meat onto your flat stone surface and use the hammer to gently pound the meat until it is tenderized and flattened; this mimics a rough mince.

7Use the sharp stone edge to finely chop the flattened meat into a consistent, small dice, ensuring no bone fragments remain.

8If you have salt, sprinkle it sparingly over the mince to help draw out moisture and improve flavor; if not, serve immediately while the meat is fresh to minimize bacterial growth.